If you, like me, have been getting really fed up by the speed of this server, those of you who actually sit there and read this stuff, then boy do I have some news for you! This will probably excite me way more than it does you, but hear me out.

It started out in 1994, I was five. My dad's friend took him to Fry's and they bought our first computer. Boy did it suck. I think it was a Packard Bell, had absolutely nothing on it but a word processor. I wrote a story on it, "Eat cheese and barf", similar title to the Goosebumps book, "Say cheese and die", boy was I talented, and in love with Goosebumps - who wasn't? And Internet? What the hell was that? We didn't know it existed! We lived with this computer for two quick years (everything was quick when we were young) and got another Packard Bell from Costco in 1996. It sucked too, but not as much. The only good thing about this second computer was that it came bundled with a disc that said AOL on it. "AOL? America Online?" I thought. "Sounds like some cult to me." Like hell I thought that, I was seven. We loaded it up and we had Internet. Boy was 56k fast, to me I mean.

The next few years are a little fuzzy, but at some point we ditched the Packard Bell and went with a Hewlett-Packard - I thought they were the same company due to the "Packard", go figure. We had AOL on this machine for a few months until a visited my cousin up in Fremont. He had this red thick wire coming out of the wall, looked so cool, they called it DSL. "What is this DSL magic?" I thought. A few weeks later, we called our cable company up and we got ourselves this "DSL", except it wasn't "DSL", it was "Cable Modem" from Time Warner Cable (or cable company). Wow, was it fast. I couldn't believe it. That sluggish Hewlett-Packard became a rocket overnight! Boy were we a happy family.

We went through a few more computers over the next couple of years, and we found ourselves in the year 2000. What a scare that was! I got a laptop for my graduation, a gift from my parents. I loved it, an awesome little Compaq laptop. After I got fed up with switching wires constantly to get on the Internet, with help from my cousins (the Fremont ones with that "DSL magic" stuff from back in the day), I got us a router. It was amazing. Two connections at once. Wow.

A year or two went by and my cousin got me a server (yes, the Fremont one). I have no clue why. I didn't ask for one, nor did I show any interest in that kind of stuff, but he got me one. I transferred my crappy GeoCities family site onto it and then it sat there. I was stuck. I was stuck because our Road Runner from Time Warner Cable had a dynamic IP. I couldn't run a decent web server with a dynamic IP! So my buddy Moses told me about an awesome DSL company, the one that he had, DSLExtreme. He was a Counter-Strike guy, so he was constantly online needing those fast speeds. So I gave them a ring and we got DSL with two static IPs. Boy was it fast. The only problem was it wasn't fast enough for you guys, upload just didn't cut it. And it was somewhat expensive.

So in July of 2006, I decided to switch Internet companies once again, to Speakeasy, and this time go with this VoIP thing that people were singing about on the TV. The best part was, Speakeasy gave us DSL without a land line, so we didn't need one anymore! It was awesome. Speed was fast, and it was almost exactly the same price as the slow DSL Extreme! And that's how things have been for almost two years, but now I'm getting fed up. The VoIP with this company isn't all that great, it's rather expensive for the speeds, and it isn't as fast as I want anymore! So what am I doing? Going back to Time Warner, that's what!

That's right! Time Warner! I get 5 static IPs with 15Mbps download and 2Mbps upload for practically the same price. That's almost 4x as fast! We're also ditching the VoIP and switching to what Time Warner calls, Digital Voice. Call it whatever you want, pals. They even have this offer going around that for $20, you get 3,000 free international minutes. At first, I thought it was quite a deal, but I did some numbers, and it turns out that it's only worth it if the country you're calling has a per minute price more than 67 cents, otherwise, it's a rip off, haha. Whatever makes you guys happy, Time Warner. I can't badmouth you anymore (though I never really have, I'm really loyal), because you have everything of mine. So starting tomorrow, if you notice any boost in speeds (I'm talking 4x boost), thank Time Warner. I sure will (by money)!

Now before I go, tonight on Conan, the great Morgan Spurlock is going to show up to talk about his new film, Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden?. That film's title is exactly what the movie is about, looking for Osama. How awesome is that? Anyway, Morgan is always a treat, and so is Conan, so catch it tonight. If you can't, I'm going to put it up. In addition, The Office is back tomorrow with a brand new episode, after so many months. Finally! So catch that after the Laker game, when they take on the Clippers with a Clipper floor. I guess I'm not going because Robyn hasn't told me about it. Actually she has. She told me that she is going, just not that I'll be accompanying her. Probably a good idea though, because that fight I got into with a Clipper fan last time could not have made her look good among the season ticket holders. Ah well, they're Clipper fans, who cares! Oh, and today is Jo's favorite girl's birthday, Kristen Stewart - she's 18! Happy Birthday to you! And Happy Birthday to my cousin Arif yesterday (not the Fremont one), he's 19. Take care everyone! see u.