11:45 PM - That's the first lowercase word in the title I believe. I haven't been posting lately, limiting myself to once a week kinds of things, but that doesn't mean I'm not hard at work attempting to get myself into loads of illegal trouble. A lot of things have been going on recently, and it is my job to talk about them. The first thing I want to do is talk about twenty one commercials that I have just newly added to this site. See that graphic to the left? That is the commercial that I have long been talking about, the revered Time Warner Cable commercial. I don't know if I've discussed with you guys anything about this commercial, so I will go ahead and do so now. When I first saw this commercial, at least six months ago, I initially thought it was a film trailer. It struck me as that right away, as it was in letterbox, and it had that feel of introducing these two key characters that will be played out throughout a story. We see a residential neighborhood, two neighbors standing outside their cars; we come closer and here them talk, introduce themselves. The girl is new to the neighborhood, the guy is a little shy, but still attempting to be rather outgoing, which may have come off a bit strange to the girl. They have a little playful banter, and then the guy says "Welcome to the neighborhood", and they walk off screen. That just screams film, and a film that I'd be really interested in watching, as this is exactly the kind of story that entertains the hell out of me. It turns out though that this is a commercial; it starts to rain later that night and the guy's satellite connection is disrupted. He therefore goes on his roof to fix the connection, drenched in the rain. Meanwhile, the new girl neighbor is in her upstairs bedroom undressing, getting ready for bed when she looks out her window and sees this guy on the roof looking in her direction. The way that he is holding the satellite makes it seem as if he can't control his body that the satellite is his only means of safety from losing feeling in his legs and plummeting to the ground, while this is not the case, the girl does not know and this causes the girl to scream and jump back, hence begging the statement that cable is better than satellite, as you will not be thought to be stalking another if you subscribe to cable. A brilliant commercial that was well worth the wait of six months to capture it.

That isn't the only commercial I've added to the Commercials section, there are twenty others, some of which I've been saving to add since April. I've split the commercials into pages of ten each, in order of latest capture. All commercials I put on this site are humorous or at least entertaining, so none are a total waste of anyone's time. There is one thing that I'd like to say though, I've noticed that the most humorous of commercials are usually made by beer companies, and I began to wonder why this might be. Would it be because the topic is so broad and beer is not taken serious at all that the company can feel free to go as far as they can with it, or is it also because they might get a little drunk while writing the ad? I settled with the latter. I then thought, what if marijuana is legalized in America... how will commercials advertising marijuana look like...? haha. I of course do not support or sanction any of those acts, but it's something that I found funny.

On that note, we got that old Mel Gibson story. I don't know if I spoke about it at all on this site, I doubt I have, but I'd like to say a little now. Comedians have been taking advantage of the stupidity of Mel since it was released, and I for one cannot get enough of it; unfortunately, I was not able to capture most of the comedians' jokes. Fortunately, however, I do have this for you. This morning, I was up watching late night, like I always do, and I stayed up for Carson, like I usually do. I am a big fan of late night, and there are a couple people that I love. I most love Conan, he is beyond hilarious. Second in line comes Jimmy Kimmel, hilarious guy. The third show may surprisingly be Last Call with Carson Daly. That show is just so idiotic and it takes itself the least seriously of all of them that it is just that much more enjoyable than anything on CBS. And by the way, if you're wondering, I don't like Leno's monologues usually, but I enjoy his interviews. So, this morning on Carson, they did this karaoke thing that they usually do where crew members sing karaoke about current events. I was recording it cos they usually have this girl sing on it that I find pretty attractive, and I wanted to show her to you guys... unfortunately, she didn't sing. Instead, I chose two of the four singers to showcase tonight. One is a Mel Gibson karaoke, and the other is a Hezbollah karaoke (and please, I do not want to start a political debate, asses), haha. The Gibson karaoke is sung to that Gnarles Barkley song where they accuse everyone of being insane. The Hezbollah karaoke is from some rap song that I don't remember the name to and am frankly too tired to replay the video, but I can tell you it's a popular song and I like it, and that's saying something. So go to this page to download that stuff if you're interested, but beware, they are pretty moronic, haha, that Hezbollah singing Graphic Designer is hilarious!

But I'm not done, how could I be? We haven't even talked about how my Pakistan single handedly saved thousands of people's lives this past week! haha. So, some confused Muslim Brits of Pakistani descent were plotting to blow up planes while they were in the air over the Atlantic coming to the US by means of liquid explosives stashed in drink and lotion bottles, triggered by camera flashes and what not. If you ask me, that is genius. I mean, ten planes explode over an ocean, it takes people days to find the plane, and when they do, they will never know how ten planes were taken down... I mean who would've guessed that Gatorade plus a Canon flash could blow up a damn plane?! In no way am I supporting these guys, but come on, was that a good idea or what? But what has come of it, now people aren't allowed to bring their contact lens cleaners with them on the plane... and if you want to bring your wife's breast milk for your baby, you have to drink it to prove to the security that it is breast milk and not an explosive that will stay in your stomache until you get on the plane and blow your stomache up with that Canon flash. Oh, and before I said how Pakistan single handedly saved us all? That was more of an exaggeration, Pakistan was just one of the people who tipped off the Brits. But come on my Muslim brothers, can you please start behaving? You're making the rest of us look bad... I mean can you please stop brainwashing others into thinking that this world will end if this so called corrupt America takes over? As long as these damn Republicans aren't in command, the world will be a safe place; so just hold on until 2009, and then you won't even see a need to attack America - haha. A video clip that I have for this even is Leno's monologue from his Thursday, August 10, 2006 show, it's not the only show that made fun of it, The Daily Show did a pretty funny segment, but I unfortunately couldn't capture it. Check out the Leno clip out here.

Lastly, Morgan Spurlock was on Conan this morning. I am a big fan of Spurlock, obviously having his episodes of 30 Days here (oh! by the way, 30 Days and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was updated), so I found it necessary to capture this interview with him (with Kevin Nealon one seat over as Conan's first guest). So if you want to download it, go to this page. And by the way, Conan will Insha Allah host the Emmys on August 27, 2006, and will air on NBC - and also, Morgan and his fiancé Alex, you know, the one who he always talks about and was in Super Size Me as well as 30 Days episodes, wed in May.

Oh, there are two more thing I want to talk about before I go to bed tonight. One is the file sizes of these clips and other new television episodes from here on out. Originally, I encoded all files, DivX, H.264, and WMV9 at 650Kbps video and 112Kbps Audio - after 30 Days came up, I decided to downsize the files, cos one minute is about 5.7MB like that, causing 30 Days to equal more than 250MB. Instead, I experimented with other numbers and came up with a new system that is about 3.7MB per minute for DivX, 3.4 MB per minute for WMV9, and 3.3MB per minute for H.264 - the audio quality on the H.264 being the highest at 96Kbps (with 350Kbps video) while the rest were 64Kbps both for audio and 430Kbps and 400Kbps for DivX and WMV9, respectively. You may be wondering why are they varying? Well, I have always tried to make H.264 the main thing to be downloaded on this site as, in my opinion, it is the best encoding codec, and to prove that, I dropped all three codecs to their lowest without losing too much quality, and H.264 showed the best while being the lowest of the three. I couldn't drop DivX or WMV9 any further, nor raise it, since I decided that 150MB rough is good enough for a 45 minute show. So that's one thing I pointed out, that that is how things will be done from now on, so I recommend downloading H.264 before any other files as it really is the best codec. The other thing I wanted to mention was Sir Alfred Hitchcock's birthday, it's in a couple of minutes. To honor the greatest suspense director ever, Encore Mystery is showing a bunch of his greatest movies all weekend, that's 304 if you have Time Warner Cable... I love TimeWarner/Turner... but I hate AOL and CNN Headline News (who are owned by TimeWarner/Turner), so Happy 107th Birthday, Hitchcock. I think that's all I got for you tonight, I let my heart out. The very last thing I want leave you with is the reason I didn't split this page up, cos it's so long - it's basically because I haven't written anything this month, and I wanted this all to be written on the home page rather than some secondary page. Alright everyone, take care and keep visiting. see u.